Profiting from Global Warming

By Robert Carl Cohen

Enough of the growing cacophony of ineffective whining by misinformed do-gooders. Global warming is not only unavoidable, it's the best thing for big business since the Serpent convinced Eve of the benefits of the pleasures of population proliferation. Why? Because unless one has one's head buried in the sand, the opportunities it provides for increased profits are virtually unlimited:
1. The warmer the climate and the heavier it rains and snows, the greater the demand for insulation, air conditioning and heating - a boon to the manufacturing and construction industries.
2. The increase in demand for electricity required for both cooling and heating leads to ever-increasing prices, and profits, for all sectors of the energy industry.
3. The melting of the polar ice caps and continental glaciers both opens up the seas to commerce, as in the case of the long sought Northwest Passage, and frees vast areas of land, such as Northern Canada, Siberia, Greenland and the entire continent of Antarctica, for development and exploitation.
4. The resulting rise in sea levels will necessitate the construction of enormous levees and dams, such as those which have already been been built in the Netherlands, in order to prevent the inundation of coastal regions, especially major cities, throughout the entire world. The increased demand for construction materials - cement, steel, etc., will be unprecedented. Protecting New York, New Orleans, London, Bombay etc from flooding will require vast quantities of raw materials and machinery, and provide employment for construction workers.
5. Even in the higher, less prone to flooding areas, the violent weather resulting from increased evaporation and precipitation mandates new building codes including the use of stronger materials and the reinforcement and replacement of presently existing structures with those better able to withstand the increase in rain, snow and wind loads.
6. The forced displacement of hundreds of millions of people from both coastal and interior lowlands will, as is already the case in China, not only lead to the building of new cities, roads, etc., the resultant unrest necessitates huge increases in police and military budgets, increased spying to detect potential dissidents, and a boom in the building and maintenance of prisons and detention camps.
7. The transfer of weight from the land to the oceans, as in the melting of the Greenland ice cap, is causing shifts in tectonic pressures, resulting in increasing seismic activity, earthquakes & volcanic eruptions; and might lead to an eruption of the Yellowstone magma pool - which has devastated one third of the continental United States six times during the last one million years.
8. It is increasingly evident that "Terraforming" - intentionally causing or assisting the alteration of the atmosphere, climate, etc., of an entire planet - is being accelerated in order to both promulgate profitable economic activity and make vast, relatively uninhabited, areas suitable for development and exploitation by the technically advanced.

Just as nations, ie: Afghanistan and Iraq, are presently being restructured by force in order to provide a more favorable environment for global business, the Earth itself is being reshaped. For it is the very same corporate behemoths which derive vast profits from the continued use of the oil, coal and nuclear energy polluting the planet, who also gain from its effects. Simply put, it is in their economic best interest to, first, help cause global warming, then profit from the resultant increase in demand for cooling and heating energy and protective structures. Every degree of rise in global temperature means literally trillions of dollars in profit. If you believe that making money for the fortunate few at the expense of the less-fortunate many should be the ultimate determinant of human activity, forget all this "environmentalist" nonsense; move to a relatively safe location away from coastal areas, flood plains, and industrial or population concentrations; build a sturdy home equipped with the latest in solar, wind, or other independent power source, air and water filtration and intruder-detection technology - and invest in the energy, heavy construction and security and prison industries. While those possessed by the pioneering spirit, and ready to brave the rigors of frontier living, will be able to immigrate to the new "New World(s)" of Siberia, Northern Canada, and the vast continent of Antarctica now being opened up for exploration and exploitation by 21st Century land grabbers driving GPS guided ATVs.

June 17, 2010: Millions of tons of raw petroleum bursting forth from the deep ultra-high-pressurized submarine field punctured by the BP drilling platform in the Gulf of Mexico are being carried by the Gulf Stream into the Atlantic, from where they will pollute the East Coast of the USA from Florida to New England, then contaminate the beaches of Spain and Portugal before being returned to the Gulf to create an enormous swirl of poisonous petrochemical substances. The increased water temperature caused by the presence of the oil will accelerate the melting of the Greenland Ice Sheet, diverting the Gulf Stream to the south, and transforming the climate of the British Isles and Northwestern Europe into that of Siberia. The Atlantic Ocean and the coastal areas it borders are being terraformed, in a period of months rather than thousands of years, destroying the commercial fisheries which provide food for tens of millions. In addition to the negative effects on both animal and human populations, the release of pressure may weaken the geological strata underlying the compromised oil deposits sufficiently to enable the emergence of magma - creating an active submarine volcano only 45 miles from the coast of Louisiana. The avaricious nihilism which is destroying the lives of tens of millions, however, is not without its bright side. Thousands of miles of seacoast in both the Western and Eastern Hemispheres will have to be cleaned and protected for decades to come, a task involving hundreds of thousands of workers. Port cities, from New Orleans to New York to Lisbon, will have to be protected from the polluting oil by the construction of huge sea walls far sooner than would have been necessitated by rising sea levels alone. Hundreds of billions of dollars will be spent. Healing the wounds which their irresponsible lust for profit has caused creates vast new business opportunities for those with the proper connections.